He was just a dream...

I received a text a quarter past 9pm from my ex. He gave me the impression that he was in town, and asked if I still lived at the same place. Puzzled, I asked him if he meant my apartment, and if it really was him I was talking to (I had deleted his number from my phone for fear of drunk texting, so only his number appeared with the message). He had sent me two messages and I replied twice before he answered, "Sorry... misunderstanding, haha." Sorry should be a sincere word. A misunderstanding should be unintentional, and "haha" is insensitive to the person who was hurt. I didn't want to think that maybe it was another girl he was texting- I wasn't in any right to be jealous. But hurting, yeah, that pained like a bitch. Physically, I reacted with such high-hopes and fast heart-rate. Mentally, I was crushed. I told him he "sucked" with a light-hearted "lol" I didn't mean. Our relationship is like that: Him 'unintentionally' contacting me, deciding against it, and me trying to amend his mistakes because I didn't want him out of my life completely. This is not a poem dedicated to him. He doesn't deserve dedication from me anymore. But for the people who give more than they take, and take less than they deserve, this is for you.


I try not to forget good memories,
Even when the breakup shows no apology.

I now know...
You are the dream fantasy
That never will stay next to me.

The one wish I make at night
The only end with no sight.

Memories of you and me,
Isn't another gift to throw out easily.

I wanted to know if it was that hard to decide
If I'm one-night Ms Wrong or possible Ms Right.

While I wait, all too late I start to see-
You give me nothing that I need.

So, as there's nothing left to take...
Excuse me, while I slap myself awake.

Unconditional (Parent) Love

      
           One of the most important thing you can teach your child is about love. Despite its flaws, so long as they know that your love is unconditional, then you have succeeded a large part in parenting. I wish my parents had that talk with me: "No matter what you do, I will always love you." It's so precious now, because I really wish someone would tell me that it's okay to be wrong, and it's okay to fail. In fact, it would be so encouraging for them to help me find a way to keep trying, without making me feel guilty that I haven't been able to get back up. I'm not asking anything else of them, since they have given me all the resources I needed to come into this world. The things I have to acquire myself: confidence, success and happiness, now rely on me. It makes childhood so precious, but makes me feel like that part of life wasn't mine. Yes, I lived it, but I wasn't the one who cultivated it to take the next step- that was all my parents' work. It doesn't make the responsibility or mistakes any less on my part, but it does highlight the fact that their guidance has been the main factor to any of my success. Thank you parents, and I wish you knew that my love for you isn't just measured in what I do, but my good intentions as well.

This is a regular girl... (poem)

THIS IS A REGULAR GIRL...

That is me.

No matter what I try to hide

People can still see.

Make-up and wardrobe

Are just armor for different moods,

But personality and class

A girl should naturally exude.

I’m not tall- you might call me short-

But I hold my head high-

Heels are a last resort.

If you’re going to look at me,

Peer straight into my eyes

Because I take no heed in comments

That bring me down to size.

The first thing I’ll admit

Is that I have plenty of flaws

I can dress up to be pretty,

But I’m not a porcelain doll.

Nor am I a paper flower

To be molded as you please,

I’m not the first impression,

Nor the last one you’ll see.

I pride myself in changing,

Whether I wish to or not,

If your expectations are for a normal girl,

You’ll like me a lot. ;)